#29 healing poetry; starlight steeped souls

I fall asleep
to the moontide,
noontide, after-in-between dark
that I thought smelled
only of the spaces between your
I tasted the dawn, briefly
before skipping to the next
town for coffee
and I held his hand
for a moment – his soul
the water stills at times
Where you least expect to
See the reflection of the
World as something beautiful
But there you stood
Slightly unsure, totally misjudged
In the half-light of my gaze
Which never felt good enough
To heal anyone
Through anything but touch
I wish I hadn’t said that much
And that I could call you back
And that I could make it better
And that I’d see you, standing next to me
Where I lie in the half-light of your gaze
Someone who you know
Is home, in the grasses of the marsh
That grow stronger near the waters edge
I whisper
‘Forgive me’ to the world
‘Forgive me’ – if I pretended to
Be anyone else, I could live
For him
But I wanted to conserve a moment
Of my life longer
Let it steep in the starlight
And become altogether more nourishing
Without him
I am somehow less whole
Nature never grew in isolation
But I convince myself I can’t grow with him

I say I’m not strong enough yet
But I never tasted
His lips
And the conservation of
The deep breath between us
Racing toward some inevitable growth –
Yes, I wanted to taste him
Because we forget, sometimes,
That humans are animals, too,
And we forget, that the Earth loves us, too
And we fight against love
And we fight against loving ourselves enough
To love them, too
To help them, too
To watch them and feed them and help them
We forget that we are all
Subject to the half-lit gaze of someone else
And that the sun never judges who to shine
Only where to shine
And let grow, what may
Under it’s unrelenting gaze

The Earth hides many shadows,
under the bright gaze

Of a half-lit dawn
where souls crane to step back to the starlight
I fight
Only ever for freedom
from this pain
and I skip my memories
like stones across lakes
hearing them state things like
– it’s time to lay down
and accept
new, some new form, some, new transition
It’s a deposition on the
We held
For a new life, a new Earth,
That sprang for us.
All I know is that, already,
The starlight doesn’t feel so bright
And I miss your name
In my world.

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